STABBY STABBY

k: oh, yeah, you wanna take my switchblade to europe?

c: lmao i don't even know how to use that.

k: you push button. blade pops out. stabby stabby.

CRIPPLY GUYS

k: almost like he thinks his disability turns you on...

c: omg i know! i don't like cripply guys! and it won't make me feel bad enough for him to pity-date him.

DRACULA

c: dracula!

k: furk yeah!

c: hahahaha furk.

k: furk.

CASSIE WANTS TO GO SKIING

c: i want to go skiing over winter break! someone in class was giving a presentation on bergans of norway and i just realized it.

k: i would if i knew id survive.

c: i want to! i'd probably die though, hit a tree.

k: yeah, i'd rather not die.

c: oh come on we can go on the sledding hill, not even the bunny hill.

k: let's go to the swiss alps and ride skeleton down the crista run.

A REGULAR CONVERSATION

k: i have no fucking clue what you just said.

c: this happens all too often with us.

NOT-SO-CLEVERBOT

k: i just said "dick." and that's all. let's see what it has to say.

c: k.

k: "are you lonely?" awesome.

c: lolololol

CASSIE'S FIRST REAL JOB

c: i'm just mad i have to do actual work. mostly.

k: its a job, cassie! hahaha! it's what you do!

c: i know...but i'm so lazy.

CASSIE'S TYPING SKILLZ

c: ther eyo ugo. now i get to type it all ver. over.

k: haha! you butchered that sentence.

c: yeah, well, you butchered life.

k: ...

c: that's a bit harsh. sorry kellan.

k: i'm going to kill myself now.

PRETTY-BOY SOCCER STARS
c: he's absolutely beautiful! (regarding brazilian soccer player kaka, cassie's future husband)
k: there's nothing but pretty-boy soccer stars nowadays.
c: not true, there's rooney...
k: and then there's rooney.

SELF-ESTEEM BASHING
c: aaron* bashing is too easy.
k: yeah, you're right. call him gay and see what happens. he gets pissed.
c: it's happening.
k: you're going to call him gay?
c: indirectly.

*the aformentioned name has been changed to protect the identity of the individual